Antony Kenai Singh

Aaron and I both thought Antony would come early (Avery was 6 days early and Dre was 8) and started planning everything three weeks early. Aaron was especially anxious because he had a job 2.5 hours away for the week I hit 38 weeks and his HIGHLY anticipated hunting season was starting the week before our due date.

I striped my membranes at 37.5 weeks (I had false labor for weeks and was dilated to a 3 and 80 effaced) in hopes baby would come that weekend so Aaron wouldn’t be worried about being 2.5 hours away at his job. My doc (Doc Ryan Jones) was SURE I was going into labor that night. He said he went home at 2am after a delivery and couldn’t sleep because he thought I’d be calling him in. But alas no baby.

The next week, Wednesday Oct 17th, 2018 I was 38 and 4 days and Aaron was working away but decided to come home for the night just to make sure. I had my membranes stripped again but doc and I both weren’t very hopeful. It was his last day on call for 7 days and I REALLY wanted to deliver with him but realized that it may not be happening. I had some inconsistent contractions throughout the day but with all the contractions I have had the last 6 weeks I was beginning to think I may need a new plan and possibly even an induction for the next week since Aaron only was going to have a few set days off.

That night I went on a walk while the kids bathed, I felt a little tightening in my stomach but nothing to write home about. I decided to hit the sac early since I really believed nothing was happening. I watched a show on my phone and started getting my nightly contractions around 9:45pm. After about 4 contractions I got up, did some squats and walked around my room, nothing happened. So I laid back down and then I felt a POP, it was so strong, I feel like I actually heard it POP. I jumped up and kind of freaked out. I went to the bathroom to see if it was my water but nothing came out.

That's when the contractions came FAST and HARD. I think I had two before I called down to Aaron that I was in labor. I tried to get changed as fast as I could but they were coming hard. Aaron ran around grabbing everything talking to me reminding me how awesome and exciting this was! We made it out the door and to the car after about 8-10 contractions. On the 1.5 mile drive I cried and had a couple more. I told Aaron there was NO WAY I was going to be able to do this naturally.

When we checked in around 10:30pm I started to cry during another contraction and I saw the nurses go to a room to get it ready. Usually they have sent me to the check in room where they monitor the baby and check your dilation. But this time they sent us directly to delivery room 9. I changed and had a few more contractions, I just hugged on Aaron and tried to hold back the tears. They hooked me right up and began all the questions. They checked me and the water came rushing out, the water had broken when I was at home but his head was blocking it so it never came out. At this point I was at a 6. I had a few more contractions and BEGGED to be able to stand up, but they have to monitor the baby for a full 20 min before they can unhook you. Every contraction I had to be reminded to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Aaron was awesome, reminding me how exciting this was that baby was coming! They reminded me that I was gunna do this without an epidural and there was no time anyways, this baby was coming! Between each contraction my head hung low, they kept tell me to lay back to relax but I told them I was too tired and just wanted to hang haha. They checked me again and I was at an 8. It had been less than ten minutes.

The doc then came in, he looked like he had rushed. He had gone home for the night thinking no one else would be in. We joked a little about how lucky we are that we got him in his last 8 hours and I cried some more not wanting to push. He told me this baby was coming and to go head and push. Everyone says there is a sense of relief when you push when doing an unmedicated birth.. In my case there was NOT. After one push I thought there was no way I was going to be able to do that again. I also couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I felt bad for the other women in hall who were having their first. I remember hearing a lady down the hall yell when I had Avery, the nurse turned to me and said “that is a natural birth for ya”, and I begged for the epidural after that.

I had no time to breathe between each push. I just had to keep going, I could see the doc working really hard to get the baby out but wasn’t really sure what was going on. I only push 3 or 4 times and out HE came (we didn’t know the gender). The first thing I saw was that it was a boy and I learned that was because he came out posterior! I was so excited he was out but couldn’t even enjoy it because I was thinking about how PAINFUL it was. The Doc told us that he wouldn’t have made it for the delivery if Antony wasn’t posterior. It helped slow him down which allowed time for the doc to come. And according to all the nurses I talked to, Dr. Jones is the KING of posterior babies and often gets called in to help with other deliveries so I couldn’t be more grateful that he was our doctor!

It was a unique and CRAZY experience. I can’t say I am 100 percent onboard for another unmedicated birth (especially if they are posterior haha). But my recovery has been great. I tore 2 degrees but feel like that has also been better than my two episiotomies. And I will say… the “empowerment” they talk about with unmedicated birth was not my experience. I am SO grateful I prepared for it and wanted to try it because I had no choice, and it was cool to push through some EXCRUCIATING pain, but I don’t feel like a stronger woman or mother. I feel like I did a hard thing and that its cool that my body was able to do it, but couldn’t have done it without my hubby, my nurses and my doctor.

Born 11:06 pm 7lbs 12 ounces 20.5 inches long (10 days early).

DI Springville GRAND OPENING

You guys. I am still giddy after attending the GRAND OPENING of Springville, UT DI. My SIL and I had been talking about this since we got the tour a week ago and couldn't wait for today to come! I am so grateful she was there with me because it was CRAZY and I needed some extra hands with the children. Now let me show you some of my finds (read below for 

the COOLEST find).

Three pairs of BRAND new shoes from Old Navy and American Eagle. This is a VERY small example of what they have there. So many brands to choose from and plenty that are BRAND NEW! How cool is that. Now I just hope my husband likes them ;). 

When shopping with kids, it is IMPOSSIBLE to walk by the toys and not have a major melt down (if you have any tricks, I am ALL EARS!). Lately little Avery has been in love with fire trucks. He saw this and insisted that he needed to hold it as we finished our walk through of the store and I knew I wasn't going to be able to leave with out it. And of course he HAD to take it to nap time with him. Now lets just hope I can hide it for Christmas. 

Now last but NOT least... My Marvel Comics. I saw these last week during the walk through and I knew this was going to be the BEST gift for Aaron for Christmas (he is a HUGE closet Marvel Fan haha). We weren't able to get there as early as many (some were waiting at the doors at 5am this morning)! So I knew it was a large possibility that I wasn't going to be able to get them but I still needed to try! 

When I got there I went straight back to the collectables and they had already been sold, they were sitting in there still and it broke my heart a little! But I went on with the day and was happy to get all the other stuff that I got. 

We checked out, took the kids to the car and loaded our treasures. I stayed behind with the kids so that I could feed baby and Lindsey went back to specifically find some books for her oldest (she got some AMAZING classics). 

I decided to head back in after a bit to hang in line with Lindsey to buy her books and LOW AND BEHOLD the guy who claimed the comics was in line to buy his!!!! The poor guy didn't know what was coming. I begged him to let me buy one of the bags from him and that would pay him more. He was a little overwhelmed from my intensity but he agreed to let me take a look after he looked through them. After he got through the line, we met by his car and he looked through them and realized they were all Marvel (he wanted DC comics). So he sold them all to me for the price he paid just $20 for all these classics!!

It was such a fun morning. I am going to have to restrain myself from heading back there tomorrow (the grand opening is going on until Saturday). They have TONS more stuff (they were bringing new stuff out all morning today!). Make sure to head on over there. And James The Mormon will be there performing. 

HAPPY SHOPPING!

Finding Our Way Back Home

I feel like I need to introduce ourselves because of how transient our ward is. My name is Brianna Singh, my husband Is Aaron and our two kids Avery and Ardrey, who was blessed today. Aaron and I will be celebrating our 3^rd anniversary in just a couple days. Though Aaron and I crossed paths for almost 8 years, we didn’t meet until our late 20’s and I still remember seeing him for the first time in the Costco parking lot wearing a backwards hat and basketball shorts, I was smitten. You see, I always dreamed of little morichito (brown babies) and I swore at the age 19 that I would marry a Polynesian football player (it’s totally on video) and that’s what I did. Aaron served in the Phillippines (one of his many cultures) and I in Argentina. The only activity we actually agree on doing together is eating and yet we can’t get enough of each other.

Recently I watched a cute little movie that most of you have heard about called Finding Dory. So many of us fell in love with Dory as she journeyed through the open sea to help Marlin find his son Nemo. We learned very early on about Dory’s condition. Her short-term memory loss. This condition created many obstacles as Marlin and Dory tried to work together to find Nemo. Other than her short-term memory loss, we learn little about Dory, where she comes from, who she is, and where she is going. She doesn’t even know the answers to those questions so at this point, how could we?

As we venture into Dory’s life in “Finding Dory” we see that she has created quite the home with Marlin and Nemo, they have become a family, but something happens and Dory is reminded about her own family, her loving parents.  As Dory begins to have memories, her desire to find them increases, as her desire increases and she sets out on her journey, the memories become more frequent and clearer. Though there is a large possibility that her parents are no longer alive, she still puts forth all effort to be with them again. She faces obstacles along the way that could deter anyone from their goals and yet she pushes through with the desire to be reunited for good with her parents.

We all face short-term memory loss just like Dory. We have found ourselves in an earthly life where our memories of our Heavenly Father and Mother have been lost. And yet we are meant to have a desire to find them, to return and live with them again. Some of us wont be as lucky as Dory in the sense that we will see or remember our interactions with our Heavenly Father but what we do have is the Holy Ghost to guide us along the way, as long as we have faith in Him. And Just like how Dory’s memories came back, the holy ghost can only be heard if we listen closely and the more we listen the more He will guide us.

Of faith, President Howard W Hunter Said
 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Heb. 11:1.) In other words, faith makes us confident of what we hope for and convinced of what we do not see. The scientist does not see molecules, atoms, or electrons, yet he knows they exist. He does not see electricity, radiation, or magnetism, but he knows these are unseen realities. In like manner, those who earnestly seek for God do not see him, but they know of his reality by faith. It is more than hope. Faith makes it a conviction—an evidence of things not seen.”

One of my favorite movies as a kid was The Santa Clause. I learned a very valuable lesson from Judy the elf “seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing”. First we need to believe, and then we can see all the wonderful things that our Heavenly father has prepared for us so that we can return to live with Him.

Why is it that so many of us, like dory, forget that our goal is to return to live with our Father in Heaven? We are here on this earth to be tried and tested and some of us will forget the validity of many things if we are not careful. When we start to fall away from the spirit we will forget ever knowing something was true. Some of us might question the existence of God. Some of us might question the validity of Joseph Smith, of our leaders, of the Book of Mormon. We might be angry about church policy, or how things were handled in our wards, or how our Christian neighbors treated us. These things WILL cloud our judgment and help us to forget where we come from, who we are and where we are MEANT to go. Which is to return back to our father in heaven.

On her journey Dory found so many friends to help her on her way, first marlin and Nemo, the turtles, the seagulls (who helped marlin and Nemo when they were lost), the sharks, the octopus, and so many other blessings where there to help guide Dory. Unlike dory, we may not always have the direct help we need. We have to listen and watch for it, we have to see it without really knowing it’s there, believing is seeing. How many of us forget to see the small blessings in our lives that are reminding us that God (and our family above and on earth) is there and is cheering us on to return home?! Just in the last 6 months I have seen these small blessings in my life and those close to me. Like being able to pay every bill on time even when we were unsure about our employment situation, I have seen my brothers family grow to 7 when they were told many years ago that they would never be able to have children, I have seen the power of prayer at work when my niece was in and out of the hospital this winter. I have even been able to see god’s hand in the smallest of things like when I hear my child's abundant laughter as he plays with my husband upstairs. All of these blessings continue to help me on this journey to my heavenly home. 

All of our journeys will not be like Dory's (thankfully we wont have to swim the open ocean). But we are all on our Journey back to our Father in Heaven and if we aren’t careful we may forget.

Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi once stated “My dear friends who are within the sound of my voice, you are a son or daughter of Heavenly Father. You were once in His holy presence. I know that your Heavenly Father has a special plan for you and your family to return to live with Him. Let’s go home.

Brothers and sisters, I know my Heavenly Father lives and loves us. I know that he and so many others on the other side of the veil are waiting for us. Please don’t forget.

Ardrey Kalinau Singh

Ardrey Kalinau Singh (AR-DRE KA-LEE-NOW SING)

Aaron and I had a feeling she would come early (Avery came 6 days early) but I didn’t want to convince myself of it because I knew it was very possible for her to go a week late. But every doctor’s appointment I was hoping to hear that I was in labor. I was 38 weeks and 5 days and I knew I wanted to try and induce the labor as naturally as possible. I was DONE being pregnant. I had way more contractions earlier on this pregnancy than I did with my first and I was hoping it would lead to labor. So I decided to get my membranes stripped which was way simpler than I expected and took about 30 seconds.  At this point I was at 4 centimeters and 100% effaced. I got up and walked out, hoping to go into labor on my way home haha.

I tried to be as active as I could be that day. But as each hour passed and no consistent contractions I was discouraged that the stripping didn’t work. Aaron was on edge every day, wondering if I was going to go into labor. He had guessed she was going to be born on this day so I think he was even more on edge.

It was around 10 pm when I started to realize that my contractions were coming more consistently. Without saying anything to Aaron, I just started to breathe through them and tried to time them as best I could. I took a shower and was surprised to see that they were coming pretty fast. I then wondered if it was just in my head and thought there was no way they were coming this fast and that I was still at home. So I laid in bed breathing and finally told Aaron. He was shocked and told me that he was proud of me because he had thought I was practicing my breathing (he always talked to me about practicing and was a little upset when I told him I hadn’t).

Aaron then started getting all of our stuff together. I told him not to jump the gun because I didn’t want to get to the hospital and then have them turn me away. We also needed to call someone that could come and stay the night and I didn’t want to do that until I knew for sure. Aaron felt like we should call his sister and let her know. I told him he could but she can only come if she wont be mad in case we came home from the hospital because contractions stopped haha.

Aaron’s sister got to our house around 1130 and we chatted for a few minutes as I stood and had about 5 more contractions. I figured since they were only about 2 min apart, I was probably in labor…

So we headed to the hospital.

We got checked in and I think the nurses were a little iffy about me because I wasn’t in a ton of pain and once they hooked me up, they couldn’t really see the contractions (this was a probably with Avery too, for some reason my contractions don’t show up as well).  Once she checked my dilation and saw that I was a 6, we all knew I was ready to be checked in.

The check in took way longer than expected because of the new computer system so we weren’t settled until about 1pm. Once we were settled we talked about drugs and everyone kept telling me, if I didn’t get them NOW I would most likely be pushing without an epidural. I really wanted to do most the labor without the epidural. I just knew that I didn’t want to push without it. And since I wasn’t in a ton of pain, I wasn’t ready to get it.

After convincing from Aaron, the nurses and the drug doctor, I decided to get it.  I just didn’t want to see the needle or anything he was doing to me. Thankfully it goes in the back haha.

Around 2 am I got the epidural, they broke my water, and then we rested as best we could and just waited.

The nurse checked me at 3 am and I was at an 8. Then 4 am I was a 9.5 and ready. At first she thought was should wait a few minutes but because my first labor was fairly short for a first baby she felt like I was ready to go. They called the doctor and I guess he was a little annoyed because she didn’t do a push check with me first (you could tell he was tired, he had been waiting there because he had just delivered another baby and knew that I was close behind, I guess he was taking a nap and got woken up). Quickly she did a push check and knew I was ready to go.

At 4:26 am and in just 2.5 pushes Ardrey came into the world.

It was so seamless, almost didn’t feel real. I really have been so lucky with my labors and am so grateful that everything went so well.

They told us she was 6lbs 9 ounces and 18 inches. We and since learned that the nurses were a little tired at 4:30 am and did not weigh or measure her correctly. The next day, they had weighed her at 7lbs 5 ounces. So we are guessing her actual weight was 7lbs 9 ounces.

Then it was time to nurse and hang out for a bit, Ardrey latched right away which was so different than my experience with Avery. So we hung out, eating and chatting more about what her middle name was going to be.

Now I want to explain her name and the pronunciation because it is very special to me. I swore I would never give my kids names that are not phonetic. I had to correct people my whole life that my name was BriAWnna and not BriAnna. Then I substitute taught here in Utah (I have never seen so many ridiculous spellings to very normal names) so I just told myself I wasn’t going to be that person. And here we are three weeks in and I have to correct the pronunciation to her name even to myself sometimes ;).

Ardrey is my middle name and a family name it is pronounced AR-DRE (think Dr. Dre or Mac Dre which holds a special place in my heart from my high school dance days haha). I have said since I was a little girl that my first daughter would Ardrey and told Aaron he had no say in the matter ;). The name is actually a surname of my family that dates back to the 1700’s. Hopefully one day I will get more involved in my family history and find more Ardrey’s.

Kalinau (Kalinaw) is Filipino and means peaceful or calm. It is pronounced KA-LEE-NOW. I knew that I wanted to give her a middle name that represented her father’s side and since he served his mission in the Philippines is part Filipino, we thought a Filipino name would suite her well. It was a big debate as I was stuck on another family name of his that I wanted, we just knew after she was born this was it for her. As they were cleaning me up and getting me ready to go downstairs, Aaron was holding Ardrey and said to me “I think her middle name needs to be Kalinau, she is just so calm and peaceful, I think it’s going to fit her. “

Dear Avery,

Your Street Photography

Today you had your four month appointment and it made me so sad to think that I have recorded near to nothing about your life. So here I am, recording, in hopes that one day you will appreciate it.

The doctor was excited to have such a happy baby in the office, he had had quite a few babies a little older than you that are starting to become aware of what happens at the doctors, but you had no clue what was about to happen. You smiled at him, the way you do at everyone. You get all excited and stiffen up your body and your teeth-less smile lightens up the room. You got your shots, you cried for 5 seconds and then instantly did what you love to do, grab your feet and try to eat them. Sometimes I cant believe how easy going you are.

There is something so special about you, and I can't take any credit for it, it's just who you are. You make friends with everyone you come in contact with and you bring joy into all situations. A little over a month ago I took you to a wedding and the bride couldn't get enough of you as we were all getting ready together. You eased her nerves at a stressful and exciting time in her life. She told me how you made her day even more special.

You came into our lives at a very difficult time. Mommy had lost her job, daddy was having to make some tough business decisions, we had lost your great grandma, and the adjustment from Daddy and Mommy being single to married was a tough one, there were A LOT of changes in a short amount of time. But you came and you eased our burdens, our load has increased but all we have to do is gaze into your big brown eyes and see your happy, full of life smile to quickly feel at ease.

I ADORE you. I look up to you. I can only hope that I will be able to help you nourish your sweet spirit into a loving, serving, member of our Church and society. You are my inspiration and I am grateful everyday to have you in my life.

Covenant Motherhood

I don't read much. In fact when I do I RARELY actually finish a book. I tend to skip chapters, read spark notes or just fully skip to the end (I do that with reality television too, I like to get the gist and then skip to the reunion show ;).

So books that are easy to read and short are my kind of reads. When I saw Covenant Motherhood in the book store I knew it was something I could finish and hopefully enjoy.

I LOVED it. I read it before Avery even came along and I feel like it prepared me for what was to come.

Something I have come to realize the past nine months as I had a lot of time on my hands and my whole world changed was how insignificant so much of what I cherished before is. And I realized how important the things to come were going to be.

Convenant Motherhood talks about all the things one might think as insignificant like changing diapers, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, etc. are actually in line with how Christ lives his life and how he wants us to live.

Charity is a Christlike atribute that we should be striving for, and how much more charitable can one get than wiping someone else's butt?!

A favorite quote from the book:

                       "One of the important messages that emerges from the history of great women in all ages                  
                        is that they cared more for the future of their families than for their own comfort...
                        Selflessness is a key to happiness and effectiveness; it is precious and must be preserved
                        as a virtue which guarantees so many other virtues...It was never easy to bear and rear                
                        children, but easy things do not make for growth and development."

Anyways, you should all go read it.

Avery Keyo Singh

I had a feeling for most of my pregnancy that Avery would come a little early. But so many told me not to jinks myself because the first usually comes later and you don't want to get to week 40 and dread every moment he wasn't there. 

I tried to to keep in mind that it was possible for him to come late but believe me I tried to do everything I could to naturally induce the labor. 

Sunday May 18th I started to feel unbelievably fatigued and then began contractions. I went to church and through out the day felt pretty good until about 7pm when the contractions became more consistant. Soon they were coming every 5-10 min but deep down I knew I wasn't ready to head to the hospital. At about 11pm we went for a walk, I came home and took a warm bath and tried to get comfortable. We didn't fall asleep until about 4am. But the fact that I was able to fall asleep told me I was in false labor. 

Monday May 19th at about 10am I realized that the contractions were coming on stronger and called to see if we could meet with the Doc. We headed to get some Kneaders french toast to celebrate that we might be having a baby that day. 

We got to the Docs at 1pm. He asked how I was doing and informed me that I was dilated to a 4 and in labor. We already had our bags packed and headed next door. 

Excited and nervous we checked in and got situated. The contractions were consistant for the next few hours but didn't hurt much at all. I thought to myself that I must have a high toleration for pain...BOY was I wrong. 

At about 5pm the Doc came to check on me and break my water (I have the best Doc, he wasn't even on call and still came to deliver my baby). I hadn't dilated much or even at all and was a little worried the process might take longer than expected. 

Then the contractions started to intensify. Soon after I heard a lady SCREAM BLOODY MURDER down the hall and I was informed that she was having a natural birth.

Tears began to flow from my eyes uncontrollably as I thought to myself there is no way I can willingly put myself through what I just heard down the hall. 

And then the contractions felt like they were coming on even tougher. EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. I didn't even have time to breath, I couldn't relax, I couldn't stop crying, shaking, all my breathing practice went out the door. I literally felt I would DIE before the baby came. 

I looked at my husband feeling totally defeated and said with tears "I NEED that epidural". My mother wanted me to wait and see how much I had dilated before I decided to get the epi, so we waited for the nurse to come and check. And that's when I learned that I had not dilated AT ALL, not even a little. 

I knew I would HATE my labor if I didn't get the drugs.

So fast came the drug doc and I signed my rights away. I tried to make it through the next twenty minutes before the drugs kicked in without freaking out too much. And then all of a sudden, warmth settled over my body, peace and calmness filled the room and I instantly knew I had made the right decision.

One hour later I had only dilated to a 5 but I didn't care, I had hawaiian music playing, and I was just enjoying everything around me while I felt like I was on a beach. Seriously. 

They came back another 45 min later and I had dilated to a 8.5. And soon after that I was at a 10. And then we waited for the doc to make it to the hospital before I started pushing. 

The Nurse told my Husband and Mom what to do to coach me and my brother (yes my younger brother wanted to be in the room, and I didn't care) stood towards the back to try and avoid too much detail. 

Aaron was awesome at counting to 10 (the nurse told him he was better than most dads who cant stay focused lol) and my mom with helping me breath and push correctly. I could feel the pressure and had enough movement and strength in my legs to be apart of the process. I knew when I needed to push because I could feel Avery pushing up on me. Something that many told me I would miss out on by going "natural" (my doc thinks its funny that people say natural vs unnatural considering all vaginal births are natural, it's just one is with drugs, the other without) and to be honest I don't feel like I missed out on anything (other than pain). I feel like I was able to be apart of the whole process in my own way and enjoy it in my own way. 

I pushed for just under 30 min (they had to slow me down a bit so doc was ready to go). And then came out Avery. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around him 3 times but doc wasn't worried, it was tight and didn't cause any damage. At 10:52 pm he was born. 

They quickly got him on my chest and the first thing he did was pee on me haha. He cried of course, I put his face close to mine and all of a sudden he stopped, there was an immediate connection and I fell desperately in love. 

We are desperately in love.