My FIRST Marathon and Some Life Lessons

As many of you know I have been preparing for a while for this marathon, maybe not as long as I should have been. And for that reason I was freaking out the week prior because I had only run 16 miles at once ONCE in my whole life. And even then I had walked a few of those miles.

On friday night Kim and I didn't even know what to think or do, she was pacing nervously and  I was a little out of it.

We got up SUPER early, got ready and headed out the door. Where we were welcomed by a cold breeze and wet ground.

Full of energy we waited for the bus and tried to get people excited about the race. Really we were freaking out inside and had a ton of energy to exert.

I of course did some dancing and cheering and chatting with random people when a familiar face called my name. It was Trent, a friend from Oregon. Well, I should say, my bro's friend from Oregon (one of the many that I had crushed on;).

We caught up for a minute and then went our separate ways to get in line for the race.

Kim and I made some more friends as we hung out at the start line. We had a moment of silence for the Boston Marathoners and sang Sweet Caroline.

Of course right before we started to go I got hunger pains and it started to really rain, negative thoughts began to flow into my mind. I knew I needed to start thinking positively and then the race began.

Since I only had ever run 16 miles I knew that I needed to take it slow, pace myself. So I turned on some good tunes thanks to my awesome coworker and friend Jonny. And I got focused.

Thousands and I mean THOUSANDS of people passed me the first 3 miles. Including Trent who gave me a slap on the butt and went on his marry way. It was quite depressing, but I knew that if I wasn't careful I would hate myself later. I couldn't help but make a dating analogy as  I saw all the people passing me. Thinking about my own life and feeling like everyone else is quickly passing by be and moving on with their lives. I began to think about how I could blog about this lol.

Then I saw my sis in law's mom Denalee, can you believe at her age she is running a marathon!? Her 1st one none the least! It was nice to see another familiar face.

Little did I know what was about to come...

I saw the pacers for the time I wanted to keep up with at about mile 3 and I stayed with them for 2 miles chatting, but I knew that if I wanted to actually get that time I would have to get a little bit further ahead to account for when I might slow down. I got some energy up a mountain saw a camera and danced for all those watching KSL live haha. And then I just got a good groove and ran on my own for a little while.

When the break off came for mile 8 I was feeling tempted to go to the right instead of heading straight, thousands of people were heading that way and I so badly wanted to be with them! But I stayed straight knowing that I would be happier to finish the 26.2 miles then the 13.1 miles could ever give me. Sometimes we settle for things in life because they are easier, but I promise good things come when we choose the path that we were meant for...

I started running next to a girl named Katie and I learned that she wanted to finish the same time as me, I thought this could be great! I found someone else to chat with who was at my same pace. 

But then I saw Trent and I knew I wanted to hang with him. I ran a little faster to catch up with him. And this is where the race really began for me. We just started chatting and realized we were going about the same pace and could keep up with each other. We silently decided to just stick with each other. 

We spent the next 10 miles chatting about life, all our ups and downs for the past few years. We even joked about how a Marathon is a lot like life and how sometimes it feels like everyone is passing you by by getting married and then you finally find someone who is stoked to run with you and is going the same pace.

I couldn't believe how easy it was to pass certain mile markers. I thought by mile 14 I was going to hit a wall but I didn't, then I expected to hit it at 16 but I didn't. Running with him made everything so much easier. And we shared a quick moment after 16 miles knowing that I just hit my personal PR by running more than 16 miles.

At about 18 miles the talking stopped and we just ran next to each other. That is where I started to hit a wall. At about 19 I really wanted to stop. I didn't say anything but I know that Trent could tell and he easily could have passed by me but he didn't. The pacers that I originally wanted to stay with passed us by and I kind of had a freak out. Trent eased my mind, told me not to worry about them and just stick at my own pace. 

The next couple miles were torture, but we kept going, both wanting to walk but never verbalizing it. 

At about 22 miles Trent's friends came to run with us for a while. And I got some extra energy while Trent was struggling. Then the rain came even harder. Every single step hurt, and as much as you want to think about something else you cant. I just wanted to get going faster and finish but I knew that I wouldn't have been as far along as I was without Trent, and I wanted to finish with him. 

At the last mile we came together without saying much we just kept going. When we saw the finish line the energy flowed in and we picked up the speed (I of course did a little dance) and we throw our hands up in unison and finished together. 

The feeling was so surreal. I couldn't believe that I had finished running 26.2 miles. It's INSANE!!!! 

And I couldn't believe that I had someone who ran most of the way with me. I couldn't have done it without him. No way. He was heaven sent and I am so grateful for it. We didn't walk the whole race, we pushed each other beyond our limits, we cheered each other on in tough times, we talked when we could and not when we couldn't, more importantly we didn't let each other give up. 

We had friends and family waiting for us and went our separate ways to say hi to the amazing supporters who sat out in the ran waiting for us. And came back together for one more picture.

Oh and my friend Kim got 3rd place. Good thing I didn't try keeping up with her!!!

Would I do it again? Of course! But honestly I don't know if I could do it without a "Trent". I don't know how people do these things alone. I don't know how anyone gets through life alone. It's a good thing we don't have to go through life alone. We always have someone by our side, we have a loving Heavenly Father who makes sure we don't have to go through tough times alone. And on this day He made sure I didn't have to do it alone.

Taking A Leap Of Faith

This weekend I did a lot of Firsts.

I went to Moab.

I jumped off the Corona Arch.

I went on a run without a trail.

I rocked climbed outside.

I drove a dirt bike all by myself.

I decided last minute to hit up Moab with a bunch of singles. I have been feeling like I haven't enjoyed my single life as much as I should. I want to stop wasting so much time on just dating and focus on doing things that are going to stretch me, that I am going to enjoy and who knows, maybe I'll meet someone along the way. Doing things like this can be scary because you are getting out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes you just have to TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH.

I didn't know very many people going down to Moab with this group, and even the people I knew weren't good friends of mine, just acquaintances. But I took a leap of faith and I ended up making some really awesome and new friends.

The first night I got there we just hung around the fire, made s'mores and got to know each other a little more. There I met some friends that would take me on a few adventures.

The next morning we got up early and a small group of us headed to the Arch. the hike was about a mile in and one fo the girls and I bonded over our Ironman training. She is doing one this July!

We sat around a lot looking at the arch about 150 feet up that we would soon be jumping off of. It gives me chills right now thinking about it. A few went up first while others waited. I later went up by myself and the climbed up the side almost scared me out of the jump. You are connected to a rope but to the right of you is a huge drop and it was freaking me out!

While watching others jump I decided that I wasn't going to let my mind take over. I had been preparing for the jump, I knew the precautions needed were there and I knew that I was ready. As I got strapped in my legs started to shake and my heart was pounding. I put my hand on the guide and stood there as he described what I need to do. He was cute and I thought I should just kiss him now cause this could be my last few seconds :). But I didn't lol.

The second I was all ready I looked at where I needed to go, and then I TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH and jumped. The feeling was INSANE. I free fell for a couple seconds feeling free from absolutely EVERYTHING. The only thing connected to I couldn't even feel. I was free falling. It was a feeling I really cannot describe. The sad part is because I didn't hesitate and I jumped so fast that they weren't even ready for me, they didn't get the video going! I don't have video of one of the craziest things I have ever done (this is more of a rush then sky diving).

But I did get this photo:

I jumped from up there!!!

After all was done with the jump we headed back to camp. Many people went out on quads, hikes and other things but I needed to go for a run. I have a Marathon to run in ONE week!!!

So I went for a short run, I started on the roads and then got the guts to just run off road. This is where I ran:

Nothing too pretty but it was so fun to go off the path, to take a risk. I felt like I ran faster because it was something different, exciting. 

I went back to the campsite and soon a new friend came and picked me up to go rock climbing. When we got to the site I was instantly scared. I have only really done in doors and then time I tried outdoors it was years ago and it was a mess (the climb was way too hard for a beginner.

After some convincing from my friend Victor I decided to put on a harnest and go. I took a LEAP OF FAITH trusted those who knew what they were doing...And guess who made two climbs!!! IT WAS AMAZING. Such a cool thing to conquer!

Posing before climbing I don't look scared but I was.

Good thing I have long legs!

Can You even believe I did it!?

Victor and I getting set up for my second climb.

Then this morning before packing up. Victor offered to take me for a ride on his dirt bike. I fell in love with riding with my ex from last year and was stoked to go even though it was freezing. Within minutes of being on the bike Victor asked if I wanted to drive. Freaking out a bit I said yes. I took another LEAP OF FAITH and trusted someone who knew what they were doing. I started up and within a minute I was riding. It was yet again...AWESOME.

I am grateful for the fun things there are to do around me, for the great people that want to see me succeed in all aspects of life, and I am so grateful for having a wee bit of Faith in my life. Faith not only helps me conquer great things but it also helps me to get through the tough times, it helps me remember why I am here. It helps me to do hard things even when I don't feel prepared to do them. 

And it is Faith that will continue to help me progress to being a better person, to becoming more like my Father in Heaven and it will be the driving force that will help me return to Him.

The Reality of Temptation

Sometimes it is more real then we want to admit to ourselves or to others.

This picture describes me; happy, crazy, fun, outgoing.  But lately that hasn't been me...

I haven't been blogging like I promised. I found myself in a very dark place the past few weeks, a place I hate to admit I would even let myself go.

I have found myself bitter, sad, alone, without energy, feasting upon all the things in my life that aren't going well.

I've spent many nights trying to hold back tears and instead of doing something productive I watched too many ridiculous shows that allowed me to fall into a more depressive and sad state. 

I haven't been getting up in the morning to do my usual work outs nor run the milage necessary to prepare for my marathon that is in TWO weeks!

My prayers have been filled with sadness and very short conversations with God wondering why things aren't turning out the way that I would like them to. 

And these tempting thoughts have been creeping in (these are kind of embarrassing to share):

"Just start dating a non-member, give into sexual temptations, you've been good for so many years and look where has it brought you, alone. Just go have fun."

"Why not go and out drink for a night, see what its like. You've taken care of your body for so long, it'll be fine."

"Go buy a cute black dress, show off your body, you've worked hard for your figure, why not show it off for the night."

"Just give up."

These thoughts have been ever so present in my mind for the last few weeks keeping me in a place EXACTLY where Satan wants me. 

But... I am a member of such a wonderful church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints also known as the Mormons.

This Church has been restored by the power of the Priesthood to this earth and that same Priesthood is alive and well amongst the males and leaders of my church. I have a wonderful Prophet, Apostles and leaders who have been praying for me for these last few months and they prepared things that were specific to me. 

And this weekend my heart has been restored to it's rightful place. My thoughts and desires have been turned toward my Savoir. And the willingness to fight past these temptations and be better has been ever more present in my life. 

Something that really hit me this weekend was said by Elder Eyring:

"My promise is that those who pray and serve the Lord cannot be that you will have every blessing that ye may wish for yourself or for your family but I can promise you that the Savior will draw close to you and bless you w/what is for best for you."

This is what has been on my mind. Why have I been trying so hard to receive the blessings I think I deserve when really the blessings are there. I am able to draw closer to my Savior and He has been blessing me with the things I need most.

To all you who are being tempted by Satan who feel as though they are ready to throw in the towel because you haven't been blessed with the things you have wished for. Just keep on trucking. Go back to some of my favorite talks from the last few days. Like: Erying's or Dalton's or Scott's or our beloved Prophet who reminds was to be obedient.

Brother's and sisters, I know it is a tough time. I know that many of you are wanting to just walk away from all of the promises you have made because you think it might be easier. But stick to it. Stay strong. Fight back. Know that you are loved. Know that the end will come and then you can rest. But for now, stand in holy places and be not moved! And if you need something else to keep you motivated watch this.

The Quest Towards Perfection

Is not an easy task.

But it is a commandment. 

Matthew 5:48 "Be ye therefore perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect"

Man, this can be daunting.

When I signed up for this whole gig (completely the 2013 Cozumel Ironman). I was on fire. I had a set schedule and I was determined to do it. I knew it would be tough but the hardest thing is trying to balance everything else and putting away those other desires.

And this week I FAILED miserable. I only got up twice to work out and the work outs were LAZY.

While feeling like a total failure, I woke up saturday morning and began reading up on my lesson for Relief Society. A few things that President Snow said really resinated in my heart:


“Do not expect to become perfect at once. If you do, you will be disappointed. Be better today than you were yesterday, and be better tomorrow than you are today.”

“My young friends, there is an opportunity for you to become great—just as great as you wish to be. In starting out in life you may set your hearts upon things very difficult to attain to, but possibly within your reach. In your first efforts to gratify your desires you may fail, and your continued efforts may not prove what may be termed a success. But inasmuch as your efforts were honest efforts, and inasmuch as your desires were founded in righteousness, the experience you obtain while pursuing your hearts’ desires must necessarily be profitable to you, and even your mistakes, if mistakes you make, will be turned to your advantage.”³

Brothers and Sisters, we will fail in our lives, and we may be frustrated, and mad at ourselves when we do because we know that we are commanded to be perfect. But we must always remember that tomorrow is a new day. We must remember that we will fail but what is most important is that we get back up and get back to work.

So that is what I will be doing tomorrow. I will start tonight by taking another walk up the Y by myself to clear my head and tomorrow morning I will be back to the grind. I have put a few reminders on my mirror to see everyday:

If I Could Only Do One Thing...

For the rest of my life, I would 

DANCE

(You'll LOVE the video at the end)

Sunday Hike To The Y

After making lunch for a few friends this Sabbath day (thanks to my SIL Brooke, I am now fairly good at making a DELICIOUS thai meal and everyone was satisfied) my friend and I took a little walk outside and it was absolutely beautiful. He mentioned wanting to hike the Y and reminded me that I have been wanting to do that for a while.

But I got lazy, laid in bed and started to watch a chick flick. I began to think about how beautiful it is outside and how I was wasting the day away laying in bed. So I jumped up, changed my clothes and headed out the door. 

And I began the Hike alone:

Time to think, to reflect, and to enjoy all that God has given me. During my lesson today and girl in the class talked about how important it is that sometimes we shut off our minds and listen to our hearts. So I just tried to listen to my heart, I tried turning off my mind and just enjoying the time alone with my soul, and God's creations. 

I didn't have any crazy revelations, nothing really inspiring happened, I didn't make some big change in my current plans, I didn't get guidance one who I should date, I just hiked. I enjoyed the beautiful weather, the time I got away from the noise of the world, and the time I had alone to get back in tune with my spirit.

I believe that deep down our spirits know who we want to be, who we should be, and they can help us get there if we just take some time to be alone with them. 

Is This Really My Life?

I sit here still in my gym clothes smelling the lovely scent coming from my under arms thinking about my experience at good old Provo, Ut Gold's gym. Wondering about how I got here, this part of the single life, the part that I NEVER saw myself.

Is this really my life? Spending my free time at the gym with all of my "friends" having mindless conversations about dating and how fun it is to have random hook ups but also acknowledging the fact that its lame that one would even do that at our age.

Is this really my life? Going on dates with random guys I meet online, at a party, a friend set it up or from an app that basically is just telling you if you are hot or not (Tinder, the new app that lets you know people don't think you are good looking enough).

Is this really my life? Trying everyday to make the work place a place that people really want to be. Where they feel loved and appreciated and yet I can't seem to get it right.

I'd rather be spending my time conversing with the one person who just gets me, talking about the things we've learned from the past, where we see ourselves in five years, what we think about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, planning our children's names, wondering about the mysterious of the world together.

I'd rather be going on dates weekly with the one person that I can't live without. The one that makes me laugh at the dumbest jokes, who will listen to me rant about my new crazy idea and help me plan how I am going to accomplish it, the one guy who is finally on my team for forever.

I'd rather be at home with a bunch of kiddies to snuggle with, clean up after, kiss all day, to tell "I love you", to teach, to cook for, to dance with, to sing at the top of our lungs to ridiculous songs, to raise up in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

But...

If we continue to search for that Golden Ticket without enjoying the chocolate we will miss out on so many delicious bites:

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2011/09/forget-me-not?lang=eng

Maybe I can help turn those conversations at the gym into something informative and interesting and stop engaging in conversations that have no substance.

Maybe I can learn to enjoy my dates for who they are deep down and develop relationships with good people.

Maybe I can embrace everyday at work knowing that I may not be able to make everyone happy but I can try my best to make it the best environment that I can with all the love I can give.

Reality is I may never find that Golden Ticket in this life, but I can learn to enjoy every delicious bite of the chocolate.