FHE

Aaron and I are TERRIBLE at doing FHE.

Family Home Evening, it’s one night a week in the LDS church that we devote to worship and enjoying time as a family. It usually includes a spiritual thought and maybe a game or a treat. All families do it differently.

There is just something about doing it with only two people that can seem weird sometimes, and we end up just doing something together and call it good.

And even more awkward is trying to sing (some families start the meeting with a hymn). Last week Aaron asked me to give the tune and I took 5 embarrassing minutes to even get us started (Aaron has a beautiful voice so I made him do it this week).

Even though it can be awkward to get started, I have found that some of the most spiritual moments in our home have been during FHE. Even though we haven’t prepared much, there seems to be something so special about singing, praying and then having a quick discussion about the gospel that brings a sweet spirit in your home.

And I guess it should be thoroughly enjoyed now because in no time we will have children with very short attention spans and maybe even more little desire to participate.

If there are any other couples out there struggling with doing FHE just the two of you I have found that this manual gives great ideas to discuss and work on in your home during the spiritual thought aspect of the lesson. 

Just Be Sweet

I am sorry to the person who smiled in the car next to me this morning. I wish I prepared myself to be sweet when I walked out the door this morning.

Instead this morning I was wasting my time reading an article that had to do something with my religion that made my hear hurt and I couldn’t believe some of the comments that were written to demean and belittle something that I hold so dear.

With that said I can’t believe some of the comments I have read to articles recently that I may not agree with either. I don’t understand why some people are so ready to jump to demeaning, argumentative, unkind things, just because they may not agree.

I am sad that at some points in my life I have allowed myself to be involved in this. It breaks my heart to think about how often I have been involved in hurting someone when I could've avoided it.

My husband said to me the other night:

“I could care less if you made money, if you changed the world in some big way someday, or if you invented the next big thing, I just love when you are sweet, just be sweet and you will always have me as your cheerleader.”

I feel like sometimes we want to be right instead of kind. I don't know what it is about human nature that makes us feel like we need to prove our point and be right. 

I have decided that I want to be the kind of person that feels LOVE when they come into my home. I want them to feel kindness when I speak to them. I want their heart to feel full after we hang out. 

So with VALENTINES DAY coming up, maybe we can just be sweet to all those around us. 

And if you need a little more help to be sweet you can always buy yourself (or me) some of the best valentines day has to offer:

What Should We Seek After?

This talk was part of the study guide in preparing our lesson for the youth today and MAN, it hit me like a ton of bricks, especially this part:

"As we seek to receive and apply the guidance of the Spirit in a world driven by the trends and issues of the day, we are confronted by an avalanche of often erroneous and trivial information served up by modern technology. We risk becoming what one observer called “‘pancake people’—spread wide and thin as we connect with that vast network of information accessed by the mere touch of a button.” ³

We are also bombarded by popular talk show hosts, television psychologists, fashion magazines, and media commentators, whose skewed values and questionable practices can drive our opinions and influence our behavior. For example, President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) said, “There has never been a time in the world when the role of [women and men] has been more confused.” ⁴

In this circumstance, confusion, discouragement, or self-doubt may begin to erode our faith and turn us away from the Savior and from building His kingdom on earth. If we focus our decisions on trends and worldly directions, we will be “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive” (Ephesians 4:14)."

Though we are taught over and over again to seek after the Spirit I find that it is WAY too easy to seek after money, things of the world, the praise of man, the desire to succeed, and we get "tossed to and fro". 


I have found myself lost in the ways of the world, I have sought knowledge and comfort from all the wrong places. And I have even forgotten the importace of my role as a wife, daughter, friend, soon to be mother, etc. 

Always loved seeking the praise of man...

As we continued the lesson one of the kids shared this scripture and my mind was enlightened once again, like it has been before by this particular scripture:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Sometimes we just need to be reminded again and again. I know that as we seek HIS Kingdom we will be blessed, it may not be will a perfect knowledge of things, or all the money in the world will be given unto us, or that we will have a perfect life. But I do know that we will be blessed with an eternity of happiness whether it comes today or in the life after. 

So for me I have realized sometimes I just need to turn off the T.V, avoid certain articles, and instead of just building relationships in order to gain more temporal things, I need to use my time indulging in the scriptures, having fervent prayers, and then hopefully I can be a smart part of helping to build the Kingdom of God. 

What should we seek after? 

The Kingdom of God. 

Sharing Your Faith Online

My Husband hates social media. He has never had a facebook, couldn't pick the instagram app icon out of a match up, and sometimes he cringes when I am writing on my blog (I understand that fear because sometimes my censorship isn't up to par...).

It's sometimes a fight to get him to even take a photo with me, in fear that I am going to post it. 

He actually has offered to completely forgo Ipad games if I rid of my Insta and FB, if only I could truly give them up...

However I know that so much good can be done in the social media world, as long as it really is used for good.

But instead of finding the good or writing about the good, I have found myself reading terrible celebrity gossip, indulging in controversial subjects that end up making me feel bad, all the while judging myself and others about ridiculous things.

This morning I read this beautiful article about using blogging to share our faith. And I began to think more and more about how much I don't share my faith in my posts on FB or Insta. Instead I post about all the "cool" or "funny" moments in my life (don't get me wrong, it's important to share these things, they are quite enjoyable).

Starting today I hope to share more and more about my faith with confidence to those I love. 

Success of Others

With the Super Bowl being today I thought it was perfect timing to share some thoughts I have been having the last few weeks. 

I don't know about you but I am SURROUNDED by some pretty cool women, women who's successes I get to read about via postings by others in the news, on facebook or instagram, etc. No but really I have some pretty cool friends and family... check them out: The R House, Fun Cheap or Free, LDS Printables, The Shine Project, Kim Orlandini, Every Dot and Tiddle, Clip and Pin, etc (some of these people I like to think are my "friends" though its been a while since we've even each other, thanks to FB we keep up with each others lives).

It seems as though EVERYONE is doing something cool from making the cutest bow ties to changing the world one blog post at a time. 

I find that every time I look on social media someone I know is finding success and it continues to be a reminder to me that I have done nothing cool to add to the world that day. 

After a particularly tough day wallowing in self pity about my failures I got a call from a dear friend.  My name was brought up at the dinner table in a different state with a bunch of mormon singles, with some one else who knew who I was and they continued to talk for a while specifically about me. 

As she began to tell me the story I feared what could have been said... I have been known to be quite the character and easy to love or hate. So it really could've been anything. 

My friend carried on and told me all these wonderful things that were said. I tried to hold back tears. When she was done I thanked her for the kind words and told her how badly I had needed to hear it considering at that moment I had been wallowing in self-pity thinking about all the success others were having around me. 

She proceeded to share that she had at one point felt that way about me. In her eyes I had found more success in a particular time of our lives and she felt almost jealous, until a teacher shared this story about a Prophet from the Book of Mormon. What caught her attention most was this verse:

"But I do not joy in my own success alone, but my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren, who have been up to the land of Nephi." Alma 29:14

She then taught me in a very humbling and loving way how important it is that we find joy in the success of all those around us, especially those close to us.

Instead of looking at all the things we haven't done why not be grateful that we are surrounded by such wonderful people and find joy in their successes. I believe that if we can do that we will have a more fullness of joy and peace in our lives. 

So win or lose today, Broncos or Seahawks, how about we try to delight in the success of our brethren? ;) 

Loving and Leaving

When I first decided for sure I was heading to Argentina I didn’t think that I would worry too much about leaving my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly and I would HATE it if he left me for 10 days, but I thought it would be easy on my end.

But the last week it has kicked in and I am so sad knowing that in less then 5 hours I am leaving him for 10 days. I don’t really know how people do it so much and so often.

I think part of the sadness is that I am going to a different country without him and I am carrying his child. Apart of him is in me and I am going somewhere far away and anything could happen. I mean this could be the last time I ever see him (insert melodramatic sigh).

Luckily the last few days have been wonderful. I made a point to try and be as sweet and kind as I can so we could really enjoy these last few days before I go. Man, I am making it sound like I am going to die, but what if I do?! 

I decided to write him a cute little note for everyday that I am gone. Just a memory or a reason why I love him. I loved doing this because it forced me to think through some of these moments and really ponder and enjoy the sweetness of the past 6 months. 

(I also bought him a deep tissue message on Groupon for a great deal!)

I gave this to him last night and then asked him to add some movies to my phone so I can watch on the long plane and bus rides and to just leave some good chill music on there. This morning I woke up to only this left in my music:

It's our wedding song and all the Islander music I love. Is he trying to make me miss him eve more when I am gone!?

"Don't cry for me, AAAAAAAAron!"

Vamos Argentina!

I've Changed...

It’s hard to fully comprehend the hormonal change that happens during pregnancy. I’ve heard stories but never fully understood until now. The hard thing for me to understand at the time was whether those feelings are hormonal or other feelings from the recent loss of job and stresses of a newlywed. But something has happened to me in the last few months, I have changed and I am not happy about it.

I’ve been known to speak without thinking but the things I have said and done so far during this pregnancy I sometimes just can’t believe, the anger and sadness I feel and the willingness I have to express those feelings. It has been a whirlwind of emotions and I sometimes find myself in a deep depression.

For a while I was still furious about loosing my job and then sad feeling like I couldn’t move forward with a career knowing that in just a few months I would want to be home with my baby. I didn’t understand why I was so mad, I have been through much tougher and gut-wrenching realities than this but it consumed me. And at times I still feel like a total failure.

I’ve been disappointed that I had dreamed and trained for Ironman Cozumel and I now I am not going to be able to do it anymore. Plus the stress of $700 going to waste because they don’t refund the money no matter what happens.

I fear that even though I am pregnant it was and is still possible to loose the baby at any point. And the fear consumes me at times.

Then there is guilt I feel when I am frustrated with being pregnant even though I should be joyful. And the sadness I felt for my friends who have been trying for years and still don’t know why they are unable to have children.

And the guilt for the way that I treat people around me, like recently lashing out at my sister in law, or the random lady at Zupas that wouldn’t take my order because they were too busy.  But then there is my husband who I am pretty sure he worries on a number of occasions if he had made the right decision in marrying such a crazy lady.

All these feelings have kept me up late at night trying to hide the tears from my husband.

To put it bluntly I have lost myself. I have lost the joy for life I once had, I don’t bounce back like I use to, I don’t have a desire for success like I use to. I have found a comfort in doing nothing and yet sadness in feeling like a failure. There has been nowhere to go because deep down something is keeping me from that.

All of these struggles may seem miniscule to many of you, and I would agree that they probably are, but something has changed within me and these little things have built up in me to where I have lost myself.

I write this because I know there are others out there who have felt or continue to feel the same way I do. Elder Holland spoke beautifully about struggles like these.

You can call it hormones, depression, anxiety, fear, etc. I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that fun, crazy Bree is deep down here somewhere and I am determined to get her out again!

I am not one to run away from problems but I think sometimes it’s good to take a step back and breath. So I will be heading out to Argentina to take a deep breath. Remind myself of a time when true happiness filled my soul and hope that I will figure out how to get through the next phase of life with a deeper appreciation for my Savior and my weaknesses. 

VAMOS ARGENTINA!!!