Yes I really did and to many of you that is crazy, truly insane, irresponsible, or just plain dumb.
I've heard it all.
Lately I have been noticing a lot more the excuses or defenses people use when some one makes a comment about how quickly they got married or how early they decided to have a kid. My heart sinks as I hear people feel the need to make justifications so that the other person feels better about the eternal decision they made.
And then I begin to wondered why it is that people are so worried for others decisions when it comes to marriage and starting a family. The world has gone a little crazy and it would SEEM that people who get married too quickly or have kids to quickly seem to be the ones that have the most issues or the most divorces.
However, (now, I am not an expert) I've met couples who waited years to get married or have kids but still chose to get divorced. I also know a lot of couples that got married quickly or had kids right away and have a great marriage.
I think we have lost sight on the formula for a good marriage and think that time and age should be most of the deciding factor when a couple makes that eternal decision.
There are a few things that I decided to take a second look at before I took the leap of faith (or crap shoot as my boss calls getting married, because sometimes you really just don't know what's going to happen) :
1.) Am I ready to make the covenant in the temple I prepared ALL my life to make and not just when I met him?
-Yes.
2.) Is he ready to commit 100% to me?
-I hope so ;)
3.) Am I marrying him just for his physical features?
-My husband is physically everything I have wanted but no, I like who he is too ;)
4.) Deep down does it feel right?
-More right then I could have imagined.
It just felt right and not any joke, unkind word, or counsel that they felt like was from God to me could change the fact that it just fit perfectly, like a glove, like I had always wanted.
Our marriage is crazy, unpredictable and hard at times because we are still learning about each other. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I am learning more about myself and what I need to change then I could have ever learned a lone. And those moments when I feel like it just fits come along I couldn't be happier.
So I vow to never excuse my decision that I married the man of my dreams after 11 weeks of knowing him. I vow to never try to justify to make anyone else feel better about MY decision to start my eternal family. What I vow is to keep my covenants and prepare my family and myself to face my maker one day.
"Choose who you love and love your choice" and people, stop trying to choose when that love develops or comes for others. Let them make their own choice, God does.
My husband and I were engaged at 3 months and married at 6. People said we were nuts, but we've been married 8 years already and I don't see it ending any time soon (never) :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't marry a member of the church and while that alone is hard I still know Ryan was perfect for me and never felt more secure or right about my decision. I have heard every reason why we shouldn't have been married. It used to really get to me and then I realized it was time to distance myself from those who wanted me to fail. We have survived multiple lay offs and job loss, becoming parents and buying a home, being flat broke, religious differences, struggling to become pregnant and have more children, sickness and more. In 5 short years we have had lots of hardships and even more miracles. As of today we are closer, happier and the gospel is becoming more and more important in our lives including Ryan. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. They aren't married to you for eternity. Congrats on your marriage! So excited to see what's in store for you! Praying for great things!
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