When I was a girl, before my family went to bed we would have scripture study then my parents made us give them a kiss and say I love you before we could leave their room. We say "I love you" quite often actually, you wont talk to a Redfern without them saying "I love you" or "love ya" before they hang up the phone. It's a phrase that comes out of my mouth fairly easy but I can still honestly say I mean it.
But this good habit has led me to saying "I love you" earlier then most others: to the person I met at a party for the first time, to the stranger on the street, to the teacher who gave me the good grade, etc. Whether I thought I meant it or it was just out of habit there are also many boys I have shared these three words with...
...which is why I was DETERMINED to not be the first to say it to Aaron.
After we started dating things went very quickly (obviously) and we actually talked about marriage before these three words were even said.
I felt on a few occasions the desire to say it, but I wanted to make sure I was going to mean it, because it was going to be for eternity. There may have been a time or two while hanging up the phone or leaving for the day when I had to hold back from letting those words come out.
One night (about a week after we made it official) I went out with one of my best friends Jordan to a girls night out thing while Aaron played in some softball games. Towards the end of the night I started to feel anxious to see him and got home as soon as I could to only see that he was still in the shower. I banged on the door and told him to hurry! He giggled at me and told me to relax (his favorite word to use with me) and asked why I was so hyper. I just responded all giddily that I was just excited to see him.
He got dressed after his shower, snuggled up next to me and kissed me. With all smiles I asked him about his night and he just questioned again why I was so giddy. I laughed and giggled and just responded with "I dunno! I am just happy to see you." I really don't know why I was feeling the way I was, nothing particular happened that night, I just couldn't hold back how happy I was.
Then all of a sudden it hit me...I loved him. I knew it, I could feel it so intensely that my eyes started to water up and my smile caved. He looked at me with so much concern begging me to tell him what was up. I told him nothing and tried to change the subject.
There was NO WAY I was going to say these three words first.
He pried and pried but I kept my mouth shut. He wanted to know what I was thinking and feeling but I knew he knew and I wasn't going to say it first.
He looked at me with so much adornment and love and then said to me, "I love you too." I giggled grabbed him close and kissed him then asked him to say it again, he did. And we kissed some more. A few moments later I responded with "I love you."
I do love him and in that moment I felt it. I know that our love is young and that we have so much more to come and there may be moments when that love doesn't feel like it did in that moment. I cannot wait for that love to grow even more as we set out to make it official for eternity.
