Is This Really My Life?

I sit here still in my gym clothes smelling the lovely scent coming from my under arms thinking about my experience at good old Provo, Ut Gold's gym. Wondering about how I got here, this part of the single life, the part that I NEVER saw myself.

Is this really my life? Spending my free time at the gym with all of my "friends" having mindless conversations about dating and how fun it is to have random hook ups but also acknowledging the fact that its lame that one would even do that at our age.

Is this really my life? Going on dates with random guys I meet online, at a party, a friend set it up or from an app that basically is just telling you if you are hot or not (Tinder, the new app that lets you know people don't think you are good looking enough).

Is this really my life? Trying everyday to make the work place a place that people really want to be. Where they feel loved and appreciated and yet I can't seem to get it right.

I'd rather be spending my time conversing with the one person who just gets me, talking about the things we've learned from the past, where we see ourselves in five years, what we think about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, planning our children's names, wondering about the mysterious of the world together.

I'd rather be going on dates weekly with the one person that I can't live without. The one that makes me laugh at the dumbest jokes, who will listen to me rant about my new crazy idea and help me plan how I am going to accomplish it, the one guy who is finally on my team for forever.

I'd rather be at home with a bunch of kiddies to snuggle with, clean up after, kiss all day, to tell "I love you", to teach, to cook for, to dance with, to sing at the top of our lungs to ridiculous songs, to raise up in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

But...

If we continue to search for that Golden Ticket without enjoying the chocolate we will miss out on so many delicious bites:

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2011/09/forget-me-not?lang=eng

Maybe I can help turn those conversations at the gym into something informative and interesting and stop engaging in conversations that have no substance.

Maybe I can learn to enjoy my dates for who they are deep down and develop relationships with good people.

Maybe I can embrace everyday at work knowing that I may not be able to make everyone happy but I can try my best to make it the best environment that I can with all the love I can give.

Reality is I may never find that Golden Ticket in this life, but I can learn to enjoy every delicious bite of the chocolate.