NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!!!

Of the two climbs I did a couple weeks ago, this one was definitely the toughest. The holes are huge and great to hold onto however there were a few gaps where they were just enough far apart to make you think you were going to reach the next level.

At one point I got completely stuck and didn't know how I was going to move forward. Down below a friend explained exactly what I should do in order to move up but I doubted that I would be able to do it. I tried a few times placing my right arm deep into a hole and lifting my left leg up to reach the next crevasse. But my heart was racing and I was freaking out (even though you are totally strapped in and will be caught if you fall it is still really freaky).

I debated whether I wanted to give up. I had already done my first climb outside and defeated it! I felt like I had done enough for the day and I wanted to just stop. But I had friends cheering me on and the sheer will to accomplish a tough thing. So I tried again and made it. There were only a few more levels to the top and I reached it! The feeling at the top was sheer giddiness and I was screamed with joy!

Saturday night while tying to figure out what I would teach for Relief Society I found this talk and knew it was what I needed to teach on.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!

Many of you know the struggles I have had recently and the moments when I was just ready to throw in the towel. Thanks to wonderful friends, and great leaders of the church I have once again found peace and solace in trying times.

And this talk was yet another reminder to NEVER give up.

We are going to face challenges that are going to push us to our limits. We are going to have struggles that will make us feel as though we cannot go any further but I know that as we push forward in Faith we can find peace again, we can be happy and the blessings of Heaven will flow into our lives.

And I imagine when the end comes and we've made it, it will feel a little like I did that day I climbed.

The Moments After The Marathon

Were FREEZING!!

At first it didn't matter because I was so HIGH off of what I just did. Thankfully I had some friends there with a car close by and some change of clothes that weren't soaking wet.

We took a shot of my awesome blisters:

And then all I wanted to do was eat so we headed over to cheese cake factor and this is how I looked walking in:

Ridiculous I know. I looked homeless walking into a pretty nice restaurant. The best part was how I was walking.

And the thing I looked forward to most was a Diet Coke! But since I was so cold I had to drink a hot water with lemon along with my DC. Oh, it was HEAVENLY.

I then enjoyed tons of bread, spinach dip, bacon cheese burger and sweet potatoe fries. It was awesome. Thank you Jonny for buying me my post run meal!

I still can't believe I did it. I can't wait till my next race!!!

My FIRST Marathon and Some Life Lessons

As many of you know I have been preparing for a while for this marathon, maybe not as long as I should have been. And for that reason I was freaking out the week prior because I had only run 16 miles at once ONCE in my whole life. And even then I had walked a few of those miles.

On friday night Kim and I didn't even know what to think or do, she was pacing nervously and  I was a little out of it.

We got up SUPER early, got ready and headed out the door. Where we were welcomed by a cold breeze and wet ground.

Full of energy we waited for the bus and tried to get people excited about the race. Really we were freaking out inside and had a ton of energy to exert.

I of course did some dancing and cheering and chatting with random people when a familiar face called my name. It was Trent, a friend from Oregon. Well, I should say, my bro's friend from Oregon (one of the many that I had crushed on;).

We caught up for a minute and then went our separate ways to get in line for the race.

Kim and I made some more friends as we hung out at the start line. We had a moment of silence for the Boston Marathoners and sang Sweet Caroline.

Of course right before we started to go I got hunger pains and it started to really rain, negative thoughts began to flow into my mind. I knew I needed to start thinking positively and then the race began.

Since I only had ever run 16 miles I knew that I needed to take it slow, pace myself. So I turned on some good tunes thanks to my awesome coworker and friend Jonny. And I got focused.

Thousands and I mean THOUSANDS of people passed me the first 3 miles. Including Trent who gave me a slap on the butt and went on his marry way. It was quite depressing, but I knew that if I wasn't careful I would hate myself later. I couldn't help but make a dating analogy as  I saw all the people passing me. Thinking about my own life and feeling like everyone else is quickly passing by be and moving on with their lives. I began to think about how I could blog about this lol.

Then I saw my sis in law's mom Denalee, can you believe at her age she is running a marathon!? Her 1st one none the least! It was nice to see another familiar face.

Little did I know what was about to come...

I saw the pacers for the time I wanted to keep up with at about mile 3 and I stayed with them for 2 miles chatting, but I knew that if I wanted to actually get that time I would have to get a little bit further ahead to account for when I might slow down. I got some energy up a mountain saw a camera and danced for all those watching KSL live haha. And then I just got a good groove and ran on my own for a little while.

When the break off came for mile 8 I was feeling tempted to go to the right instead of heading straight, thousands of people were heading that way and I so badly wanted to be with them! But I stayed straight knowing that I would be happier to finish the 26.2 miles then the 13.1 miles could ever give me. Sometimes we settle for things in life because they are easier, but I promise good things come when we choose the path that we were meant for...

I started running next to a girl named Katie and I learned that she wanted to finish the same time as me, I thought this could be great! I found someone else to chat with who was at my same pace. 

But then I saw Trent and I knew I wanted to hang with him. I ran a little faster to catch up with him. And this is where the race really began for me. We just started chatting and realized we were going about the same pace and could keep up with each other. We silently decided to just stick with each other. 

We spent the next 10 miles chatting about life, all our ups and downs for the past few years. We even joked about how a Marathon is a lot like life and how sometimes it feels like everyone is passing you by by getting married and then you finally find someone who is stoked to run with you and is going the same pace.

I couldn't believe how easy it was to pass certain mile markers. I thought by mile 14 I was going to hit a wall but I didn't, then I expected to hit it at 16 but I didn't. Running with him made everything so much easier. And we shared a quick moment after 16 miles knowing that I just hit my personal PR by running more than 16 miles.

At about 18 miles the talking stopped and we just ran next to each other. That is where I started to hit a wall. At about 19 I really wanted to stop. I didn't say anything but I know that Trent could tell and he easily could have passed by me but he didn't. The pacers that I originally wanted to stay with passed us by and I kind of had a freak out. Trent eased my mind, told me not to worry about them and just stick at my own pace. 

The next couple miles were torture, but we kept going, both wanting to walk but never verbalizing it. 

At about 22 miles Trent's friends came to run with us for a while. And I got some extra energy while Trent was struggling. Then the rain came even harder. Every single step hurt, and as much as you want to think about something else you cant. I just wanted to get going faster and finish but I knew that I wouldn't have been as far along as I was without Trent, and I wanted to finish with him. 

At the last mile we came together without saying much we just kept going. When we saw the finish line the energy flowed in and we picked up the speed (I of course did a little dance) and we throw our hands up in unison and finished together. 

The feeling was so surreal. I couldn't believe that I had finished running 26.2 miles. It's INSANE!!!! 

And I couldn't believe that I had someone who ran most of the way with me. I couldn't have done it without him. No way. He was heaven sent and I am so grateful for it. We didn't walk the whole race, we pushed each other beyond our limits, we cheered each other on in tough times, we talked when we could and not when we couldn't, more importantly we didn't let each other give up. 

We had friends and family waiting for us and went our separate ways to say hi to the amazing supporters who sat out in the ran waiting for us. And came back together for one more picture.

Oh and my friend Kim got 3rd place. Good thing I didn't try keeping up with her!!!

Would I do it again? Of course! But honestly I don't know if I could do it without a "Trent". I don't know how people do these things alone. I don't know how anyone gets through life alone. It's a good thing we don't have to go through life alone. We always have someone by our side, we have a loving Heavenly Father who makes sure we don't have to go through tough times alone. And on this day He made sure I didn't have to do it alone.

Taking A Leap Of Faith

This weekend I did a lot of Firsts.

I went to Moab.

I jumped off the Corona Arch.

I went on a run without a trail.

I rocked climbed outside.

I drove a dirt bike all by myself.

I decided last minute to hit up Moab with a bunch of singles. I have been feeling like I haven't enjoyed my single life as much as I should. I want to stop wasting so much time on just dating and focus on doing things that are going to stretch me, that I am going to enjoy and who knows, maybe I'll meet someone along the way. Doing things like this can be scary because you are getting out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes you just have to TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH.

I didn't know very many people going down to Moab with this group, and even the people I knew weren't good friends of mine, just acquaintances. But I took a leap of faith and I ended up making some really awesome and new friends.

The first night I got there we just hung around the fire, made s'mores and got to know each other a little more. There I met some friends that would take me on a few adventures.

The next morning we got up early and a small group of us headed to the Arch. the hike was about a mile in and one fo the girls and I bonded over our Ironman training. She is doing one this July!

We sat around a lot looking at the arch about 150 feet up that we would soon be jumping off of. It gives me chills right now thinking about it. A few went up first while others waited. I later went up by myself and the climbed up the side almost scared me out of the jump. You are connected to a rope but to the right of you is a huge drop and it was freaking me out!

While watching others jump I decided that I wasn't going to let my mind take over. I had been preparing for the jump, I knew the precautions needed were there and I knew that I was ready. As I got strapped in my legs started to shake and my heart was pounding. I put my hand on the guide and stood there as he described what I need to do. He was cute and I thought I should just kiss him now cause this could be my last few seconds :). But I didn't lol.

The second I was all ready I looked at where I needed to go, and then I TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH and jumped. The feeling was INSANE. I free fell for a couple seconds feeling free from absolutely EVERYTHING. The only thing connected to I couldn't even feel. I was free falling. It was a feeling I really cannot describe. The sad part is because I didn't hesitate and I jumped so fast that they weren't even ready for me, they didn't get the video going! I don't have video of one of the craziest things I have ever done (this is more of a rush then sky diving).

But I did get this photo:

I jumped from up there!!!

After all was done with the jump we headed back to camp. Many people went out on quads, hikes and other things but I needed to go for a run. I have a Marathon to run in ONE week!!!

So I went for a short run, I started on the roads and then got the guts to just run off road. This is where I ran:

Nothing too pretty but it was so fun to go off the path, to take a risk. I felt like I ran faster because it was something different, exciting. 

I went back to the campsite and soon a new friend came and picked me up to go rock climbing. When we got to the site I was instantly scared. I have only really done in doors and then time I tried outdoors it was years ago and it was a mess (the climb was way too hard for a beginner.

After some convincing from my friend Victor I decided to put on a harnest and go. I took a LEAP OF FAITH trusted those who knew what they were doing...And guess who made two climbs!!! IT WAS AMAZING. Such a cool thing to conquer!

Posing before climbing I don't look scared but I was.

Good thing I have long legs!

Can You even believe I did it!?

Victor and I getting set up for my second climb.

Then this morning before packing up. Victor offered to take me for a ride on his dirt bike. I fell in love with riding with my ex from last year and was stoked to go even though it was freezing. Within minutes of being on the bike Victor asked if I wanted to drive. Freaking out a bit I said yes. I took another LEAP OF FAITH and trusted someone who knew what they were doing. I started up and within a minute I was riding. It was yet again...AWESOME.

I am grateful for the fun things there are to do around me, for the great people that want to see me succeed in all aspects of life, and I am so grateful for having a wee bit of Faith in my life. Faith not only helps me conquer great things but it also helps me to get through the tough times, it helps me remember why I am here. It helps me to do hard things even when I don't feel prepared to do them. 

And it is Faith that will continue to help me progress to being a better person, to becoming more like my Father in Heaven and it will be the driving force that will help me return to Him.

The Reality of Temptation

Sometimes it is more real then we want to admit to ourselves or to others.

This picture describes me; happy, crazy, fun, outgoing.  But lately that hasn't been me...

I haven't been blogging like I promised. I found myself in a very dark place the past few weeks, a place I hate to admit I would even let myself go.

I have found myself bitter, sad, alone, without energy, feasting upon all the things in my life that aren't going well.

I've spent many nights trying to hold back tears and instead of doing something productive I watched too many ridiculous shows that allowed me to fall into a more depressive and sad state. 

I haven't been getting up in the morning to do my usual work outs nor run the milage necessary to prepare for my marathon that is in TWO weeks!

My prayers have been filled with sadness and very short conversations with God wondering why things aren't turning out the way that I would like them to. 

And these tempting thoughts have been creeping in (these are kind of embarrassing to share):

"Just start dating a non-member, give into sexual temptations, you've been good for so many years and look where has it brought you, alone. Just go have fun."

"Why not go and out drink for a night, see what its like. You've taken care of your body for so long, it'll be fine."

"Go buy a cute black dress, show off your body, you've worked hard for your figure, why not show it off for the night."

"Just give up."

These thoughts have been ever so present in my mind for the last few weeks keeping me in a place EXACTLY where Satan wants me. 

But... I am a member of such a wonderful church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints also known as the Mormons.

This Church has been restored by the power of the Priesthood to this earth and that same Priesthood is alive and well amongst the males and leaders of my church. I have a wonderful Prophet, Apostles and leaders who have been praying for me for these last few months and they prepared things that were specific to me. 

And this weekend my heart has been restored to it's rightful place. My thoughts and desires have been turned toward my Savoir. And the willingness to fight past these temptations and be better has been ever more present in my life. 

Something that really hit me this weekend was said by Elder Eyring:

"My promise is that those who pray and serve the Lord cannot be that you will have every blessing that ye may wish for yourself or for your family but I can promise you that the Savior will draw close to you and bless you w/what is for best for you."

This is what has been on my mind. Why have I been trying so hard to receive the blessings I think I deserve when really the blessings are there. I am able to draw closer to my Savior and He has been blessing me with the things I need most.

To all you who are being tempted by Satan who feel as though they are ready to throw in the towel because you haven't been blessed with the things you have wished for. Just keep on trucking. Go back to some of my favorite talks from the last few days. Like: Erying's or Dalton's or Scott's or our beloved Prophet who reminds was to be obedient.

Brother's and sisters, I know it is a tough time. I know that many of you are wanting to just walk away from all of the promises you have made because you think it might be easier. But stick to it. Stay strong. Fight back. Know that you are loved. Know that the end will come and then you can rest. But for now, stand in holy places and be not moved! And if you need something else to keep you motivated watch this.